‘ello ‘ello mon cheries, yes it iz I, ze Great Randy, back to warm ze cockles of your hearts, with ze stories of my dashin escapades around ze globe, in ze warm crossaint of MotoGP.
Zis week, I ‘ave mostly been setting Italy alight wiz my fast conering style and impressive haircut. Unfortunately, ze weekend did not start out so good. My good friend and protoge Vale fell off ze bike and broke his leg in ze massive ‘ighside. Rossi, oo ‘as alwayz admired my crashin style was keen to show his fans (oo are also my fans) ze lessons he had leanrned from moi! Ze flight, was , ‘ow you say, manufic, but ze landing was a 3.4 on ze Randy gracefulness scale. I wish my fellow protagonist well on ze road to recovery. At least ‘ee would not ‘ave to be beaten by me in ze race.
Onto ze race!
Ze weather was hot and sticky, and many of ze beautiful ladies in ze stands were not wearing very much, which is something I ‘ave become accustomed to. But, sacre blue, if I missed ze lights again because of ze beautiful olive skin!
Unlike ze war, I do not surrender so easily and set out to reclaim ze victory lane!
Ze first riders to pick off, were ze Monster team. Unlike most people, ze Great Randy iz not scared of ze Monsters, az I’ve ‘ave seen Monsters Inc and understand ze common communication problems ze ‘ave with people. Although, I must admit, ze mummy Spies iz quite intimidating.
None ze less, I sailed by ze Texan monsters.
Zen ze true battle beagn, az I met my nemisis, Marco Melandri and ze kangaroo boy Stoner. We became ze sun and ze moon as we wound through ze Tuscan hills like ze layers of pastierre caressing zee sweet jam. Wit ze lapz ticking away it waz time to make my move nad shoe zem my je ne sais que! I stole ze lead! Ze victory would be mine, zen tragically, a careless fan, so overwhelmed wiz zee emotion, dripped some olive oil on ze track! Ze bike, she slipped away, like ze bikinis of many of my lady friends. Luckily I was able to control zis and regain ze calme but ze ozer two ‘ad slipped through and I could only finish 6th.
I cannot worry too much though, I ‘av finished ‘igher zan le mans, ze championship is long and I am still in ze top six.
Until next time mon ameis! Au revoir!
Randy’s Finishing Position : 6th
Randy’s Team’s Performance (out of 5): B+
Person Randy hates as much as Marco Melandri : Casey Stoner
Person Randy likes the most at the moment: Jean Luc Picarde
What Randy has been thinking about the most: The new Randy app for the iPhone
Randy’s Grid Girl Review: Un beau Jeannot lapin